Eliminating The Good The Bad & The Ugly Part 2

So…here I sit in Arizona….John and I have been in deep discussions on a new change. We spent many weekends doing a lot of retrospective. Realizing many of the accomplishments we’ve made….but so many dreams and desires we’ve talked about and never accomplished. You know….”One day I want to _____________.” One day I am going to _____________!” (Fill in the blank)

The next thing you know you’re fifty and time continues to move on much faster than it did when you were young. We realize we need to change the “One day” to “Day one”!

Then my Mom (who passed away 5 years ago) was in my head. The memory was a vivid one that kept replaying over and over. When I graduated from college, I moved to SoCal. I found a cute one bedroom apartment that was begging to be decorated. My mom was great at decorating. She loved finding things, buying cheap and refurbishing them. If it needed fabric or paint… she would create something fabulous.

It was 1988 and that was my first discovery of IKEA. My mom came to visit with a task at hand… Shopping, decorating and having fun. It was this memory that had been replaying in my head. We were in IKEA and engrossed in all the ways to live in a small space. (See??? I was exposed to tiny living & loving it at an early age.) My mom was fascinated with all the furniture ideas and of course the price.

What she said to me that day is what kept coming into my head….”Mary Shawn (yes, she loved calling me by my first and middle name) Mary Shawn, I think this is great! If I had this years ago, I would love it. You can buy and design a room for so little. Add some other custom elements and enjoy it. When you're tired of it or it gets worn…just donate the items or throw it out and for little dollars you can redecorate again!”

She even said to me that she had spent so much money for her couch (the infamous couch we are referring to) that she couldn't bare getting rid of it. She spent a lot of money for it back in the 60’s. Instead, she reupholstered it often through the years. Don’t get me wrong, it was a beautiful piece and she would reupholster it and redesign her living room to the very end. I believe the last time she had it reupholstered was right before they moved into their last home.

The couch became MY anchor. The feelings and anxiety filled me up when she passed that now I owned the couch, reupholstered it and couldn’t bare the thought of getting rid of it.

I truly believe she was telling me that day, “Don’t be silly, let it go, create your own design and happiness. And I did just that.

We posted the couch for sale and it wasn’t long until we met a really nice couple who came to see it. A much younger couple with children and looking to redecorate in mid century design. I could tell on her face that she loved the couch. The style, length and yes…the color.

She begins to show me pictures of their recent “finds” of mid century modern furniture and how great this piece was going to tie in the room. She even showed me the very spot that couch was meant to be. Right in the family room.

I believe she could tell the pangs of sadness that were going through me as I explained in great detail the history of the couch. How that couch has been around with our family since I was born. How my mom and dad never cared if we would sit and play in the living area or have friends over and sit on the couch. My mom wanted it to be used.

The gal looked at me and said “ I will take great care of this couch!. I will treasure it for many years as your mom and you did.” I knew then they were perfect for the couch. With that, they paid and we helped them load the 120 inch long couch and they were on there way.

Why do we put so much emotions and attachments to objects? It does not make up who I am. I am more than what my possessions are. Nice car, fancy house, jewelry or even a couch. That doesn’t represent me…who I am. The memories are with me, not in the couch. I have great memories of growing up and spending lots of time on that couch. Building a tent with the couch, hanging with my mom and friends on that couch and sitting with my brothers when mom passed and reminiscing of fun times in her living room.

It was time to let go…and when I did…It was like a weight off my shoulders It was freeing. It allowed me to take it to the next level.

“Ok John…I’m ready to really do this and live small!” John smiled the biggest and brightest smile ever. We were on a roll.

#livingsmall #tinyliving #trailerliving #smallspaces